NOTE OF THANKS (NYC SPANKING)

Dear Miss Cane:

I wanted to send you this belated “thank you”, and, yes, you are welcome to you share it with your readers, whom I am certain can benefit as I have. A colleague of mine referred me, as he had seen you for weight loss, a problem he knew I also have. He confessed that the stern lectures received from you was the only thing that worked and kept him from taking up two seats on the subway. I knew he had been read the riot act by his physician, who stated he would die of full-blow diabetes or a massive coronary within the decade if he did not change his diet and reduce his weight. Hardly the news you want to hear at 47.

Instead of blaming him for a failure of willpower, the typical outcome of doctors and nutritionists, you explained the addictive nature of his diet, and why substantial reduction of sugar and carbohydrates was the solution, and that a switch to paleo would work. A suggestion neither his physician never made. My cardiologist, himself overweight, actually told me to switch to a diet of unbuttered toast, plain pasta, and whole grains, with a salad with no-fat dressing, and a small piece of chicken breast or a hard-boiled egg for protein, and to remove all fat from my diet. I tried it, felt sluggish and was totally miserable, and gained eleven pounds. This was even worse than what I was eating!

So when my colleague suggested I “give it a whirl”, as nothing else was succeeding, I did. As you know, I was, of course, dubious, but I was also seriously desperate. My 46 suits didn’t fit, and I did not want to transition to the fat man’s 48. That would be the beginning of the end. After all, I wore a 44 three years ago! Nobody needs to be over fifty and fat, with no end in sight, and out of breath while walking, particularly when one works with much thinner young people.

So I called you. You gave me sound advice, explaining that my craving to self-medicate with sugar or dessert was an addiction. Sugar is a drug, that I not only had the power to stop but the obligation to myself and my family to stop, that you would not let me backslide into his addiction, and that I could stop this senseless cycle of self-destruction and self-abuse. You actually scolded me like a child about how I knew better, which is true, and that I needed to be responsible, also true.

You taught me to stop panicking whenever I saw food, to never eat as medication, to say “no, thank you” to the piles of sugary baked goods I ate throughout the day, to be a responsible adult, and to consider the effects of what I ate on my body, my family, and my mental acuity. A lecture from you was one of the most terrifying experiences of my adult life, but it gradually helped me to break the cycle of weakness and replace my self-defeating behaviors with ones that not only worked, but made me feel good about myself and my achievements. While I am not yet a 44 again, my 46 suits comfortably fit, I feel better with more energy, and people tell me my face is thinner and looks younger.

I can’t thank you enough for your assistance, and for giving me a solution that worked. I wish my cardiologist had suggested you first instead of packing me with more carbs and sugar. All I needed was regular lecturing and oversight, a prescription that, to my incredible surprise, actually worked. I’m keeping at this, and will keep in contact whenever I feel the urge to backslide. Thank you again.

Best Wishes,

Roger